My Father held me, the scent of cologne feeling permeating my brain such that I can still close my eyes and smell it. There. I can do it now.
I know he is gone, but it's almost like he is just next door, always there.His arms were strong, his hands with long gentle fingers that played "Two Guitars" on the piano. Get it? 2 guitars playing on one piano? That was the feeling sense of humor. "If it makes you smile," he said, "it was still a good joke."
Summertime offers beamed into my grandma's from San Antonio family. The smell of coffee and bacon emanated in my nose, and the electric percolator gurgled and puckered its congenial hellos to my ears. My big family crammed into the room, that hummed with conversation here, there giggles and shouts and squeals of joy peppered here and there.
Nutty children were just being children, running about, boisterously slamming the doors just as all kids do. I still remember who was there, it is because I looked down on everyone.
I could sit up straight, and my curly light brown hair was tossed all about in freedom. I did not care about anything except my Father. He announced, "Watch!" while my Mother was simply horrified. I was mortified! My Dad told all to relax. She just stared at us. I did not care.
I just could not wait! I closed my eyes and imagined little I could fly! And then ... slowly .... it StartEd ....
Image 1 Up! Up! Up! I tried with all of my might to hold still. I was a frozen smile.
Now, I was sitting in my Father's hand.
Slowly, ever so deliberately and, as I was sitting on the edge of my Father's hand, he lifted me up. He lifted me up! and Up! and Up! and UPPP! We went straight up to the ceiling, his hand and I in perfect unison and symphonic harmony. I closed my eyes for this style dance, and held in the mightiest burst of exclamations, just as tight as I could. Up! Up! I went again, dreaming of everything and dreaming of nothing. I was On The Edge, suspended. At his command, I Reached up to the eyes of a magician's audience, and slowly, deliberately touched .... I .... I ... I touched the ceiling! Those moments in time, I learned everything I needed to know about life and love. Everything.
That was where I was going to stay. I had no fear.
My Father would hold on to me, just like always.
I could do this. Together with him, I knew we could do it .
Slowly, I beg to fly by as I held out both arms for balance.
My arms remained still as a rock, but in my imagination, I was a bird! High ... above the clouds!
I straightened my back. I held my breath, and wonderfully magnificently.
My heartbeat pulsated, rocking Rapidly upon my neck.
The security and the freedom, the dichotomy of the safety and the danger, they were entranced my mind to no end.
My Father had me.
He was my Father.
I knew it was him, and ...
I had no fear.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
~ For Father's Day and for Always, I love you, Daddy!
..... Thank you for giving me the wings to just dare